At one time, it was common for children to look after their parents in their senior years, often at home. Although still practiced, this is no longer the prevailing custom. It was also common to believe that seniors would simply go quietly into that good night. This is no longer the case! Seniors are now living much longer and in relatively better health. The concept of the “golden years” is now very achievable.
Adult children are often referred to as the sandwich generation due to the multiple and competing care obligations heaped upon them. While they are caring for their own parents, these adults are simultaneously entering college, embarking on careers or getting married and having children of their own. They have financial, emotional and other demands independent from their aging parents. There may even be grandchildren in the picture, making it conceivable for four generations to exist all with their own competing interests and needs.
Can we really expect that our children will continue keep us in their homes? This living situation sometimes requires the creation of a new bedroom, perhaps costly renovations to make the home more accessible, or – worse still – selling the home to move into larger accommodations.
The privacy enjoyed before may well be lost. A worse possibility is that of extreme family discord. Who does the adult [sandwich] child side with, spouse or parent, when these two simply cannot get along? We all know of families where one spouse isn’t able to muddle through with their own spouse’s parent. What could be worse than living in this sort of environment?
If there are two or more adult children, with whom do(es) the parent(s) choose to live? Will this decision create future family discord with suspicion of undue influence amongst the children? Custody fights over parents are not uncommon. There are often situations wherein one child lives in a far away city or in a foreign country – would this necessitate relocation to distant and strange surroundings?
Another concept still prevalent is that of leaving a large inheritance for children. Many times this compunction is so deep that one undergoes extreme sacrifice only to leave a large estate. In the process one sometimes imposes difficulties upon loved ones, those same people one intends to benefit.
Fortunately, these problems are becoming fewer. At long last our society is becoming “senior conscious” and seniors are refusing to go quietly into that good night. These changes have given birth to a revolution in how seniors and their caregivers regard aging and what they are doing about it.
New services for seniors appear practically every day. How to find and access these services is the key to opening the door to the golden years. There is no substitute for knowledge. The old adage “knowledge is power” remains as true today as when it was first said by Sir Francis Bacon four centuries ago.
Most seniors, had they the opportunity, would live on their own with dignity. Many do not really want to move into their children’s home for so many reasons. They do not want to be a burden on anyone even when they require assisted living. Surely, this is the ultimate success in a life well lived!
There are many sources of information such as lawyers, accountants, financial and funeral planners, doctors and other health care professionals to name but a few. All that is needed is the will to take charge of one’s affairs sooner rather than later and the understanding that others, hopefully including the immediate family members, should be part of that process.
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Working with a geriatric care manager familiar with both public and private services and resources can assist seniors’ and their families to make the right decisions. These are professionals from gerontology, nursing, social work, psychology and sociology. Geriatric care managers can help navigate the system putting resources in place giving everyone peace of mind.
Seniors and soon to-be-seniors need to consider their future financial and estate plans. They can vary from simple to complex, depending on needs, wishes and the personal assets of an individual.
The goal of both is to use the assets to the best advantage of the senior today while preserving as much as possible for the next generation, all the while trying to pay a minimum of tax. It is important to remember however that the focus should remain firmly fixed on the independence, welfare and comfort of the senior and not on how much money is left over. Many times, again depending on the situation, both goals can be accomplished. This is clearly a complicated exercise and not one which can be done successfully without expert help.
Good financial planning means that you have a plan to maximise your resources including real estate, money and other personal assets, for your benefit. It means that you will reduce your taxes and reduce the potential for family conflict. Remember that you are never too young or too old to make a plan. Most importantly, remember the government will not look after you!
There are many financial experts who can plan your future using what assets you have to the fullest and still leaving a large estate for your loved ones. The younger you are when you begin to plan the more flexible your plan can be. In some cases you can spend every penny and still leave a large estate for your children. Surprising isn’t it!
At the basis of a well-drawn estate plan is a Last Will and Testament and a Power of Attorney for Property and Personal Care.
A good estate plan addresses your future financial needs and protects you if you become incapable. It informs everyone as to who you’d like to receive your assets upon your death and who specifically you want to administer your affairs. It should also provide for end of life decisions including medical treatment and funeral arrangements. A proper plan will also reduce taxes and leave more for your loved ones. Do not make the tax man your biggest beneficiary.
Professionals are increasingly paying attention to the needs of seniors. Gerontology is a huge specialty in medicine and Elder Law is becoming well recognized as a specialty in the legal field. There are even real estate agents and accountants who deal almost exclusively with seniors needs.
Many people do not know how to begin preparing an estate and financial plan. Start by listing your assets and decide who is to get them after your death. Most importantly, decide how you can best spend your money during your lifetime so that you live as comfortably as possible.
The next step is to seek out and put together a team of professionals including trusted advisors such as lawyers, accountants and financial planners and geriatric care managers who have the ability to help achieve these goals. When choosing a lawyer for instance it is important to be sure that they specialize in estate planning as well as the preparation of wills and powers of attorney.
Now that you have some idea of where to go from here, you only need to put it into action – that step is up to you!
